Sooo… traipsing through my Facebook timeline after work today, I found these two pictures next to each other:
First:
And then:
I found this a very amusing contrast.
Well into my second year of non-faith, I find myself still navigating the waters of reason rather erratically. For instance, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted at this blog. I began this blog for the purpose of sorting out my own thoughts and feelings. Once I’d made the decision that Christianity was not the truth I thought it was, I still had (have) many things to sort out for myself.
I needed to figure out what I believe, if anything. My friend Zen commented once that I needed some sort of religion, amused as he was by my new and ongoing forays into Buddhism. He may be right. I tend to glom on to a position and entrench myself once I’m satisfied with my level of understanding, whether or not that level is really adequate. I’m very emotional and very sentimental. I’m easily driven about by hyperbole and platitude, and make as much use of them as they do of me.
I also needed to figure out what my altered worldview meant in terms of the real world around me. Realizing there is no god, that there is no magic rescue coming, no cracking of the Mount of Olives in the near future – realizing that this is all there is, that it’s up to us to take care of our world, to take care of each other – well, that’s a political shift as well as a spiritual one. And in the same way I tend to let my passion outstrip my purpose.
So after a time of considering all of these things, of dealing with the aftermath of my leaving the faith and having to deal with myself with no magic help, I thought about just leaving this blog behind, and the whole issue. I thought about just focusing on myself and my loved ones, of pursuing a philosophical brand of Buddhism and leaving behind the argument. Let others come to it in their own time, or not at all.
I’m probably not wired that way, really. For instance, I believe there is significant injustice in the world. I believe we shouldn’t be quiet about it. I believe there is too much violence in the world, and that we too quickly choose violence as a solution rather than recognize it as part of the problem. I believe I can be a positive, compassionate person, and I believe that doesn’t take place in a personal vacuum.
So I guess I’ll still be blogging, here and there anyway. And I guess platitudes will still fascinate me, despite my efforts to be more thoughtful. I’ll try to learn from the people who challenge me, and try to deal compassionately with those I think propagate the worst problems in our society.
At least that’s what I think today…
I think it’s different to be a new “rejectivist” than someone who has basically been an atheist for decades if not a lifetime. For me, I don’t really feel I’m rejecting anything in my day to day life, nor did I ever really, unless someone was bugging me. There was just nothing “there” for me to reject. There was never anything. My parents didn’t push any religion on me, since they had none (they weren’t atheists, just non-religious and dgaffers, basically). So, unless I get trolled into an argument, the whole thing’s a non-issue. But that’s not the case with you, and I can see how this is an active issue, something that’s in the forefront of your mind, not something that comes up only when someone else bugs you about it. This is new to you and you need to work it through to feel wholly comfortable with your new badass godless heathen self.
I’m sure you’re right – It all stands out for me because it’s still fresh and I’ve a lot to sort out.
I do appreciate being called “badass” – as much as it’s probably far from the case
Nodding right along with you, A. Been there, still doing it, hyperbole, platitudes, Buddhism, and all.
Sigh – I knew you’d understand very pointedly
And challenged by the same Zen.
*finger touch on tip of nose*
From my parallel stream, Like.
Why thanks
I was a Christian my whole life and even attended Bible college with an intent to become a pastor. I left Christianity almost a year ago and have also embraced Buddhism. I am absolutely floored by the impact the teaching is having in my life. One problem though, the wife is still a Christian. Yeah, its been rough. We’re happily married on our 7th year with two babies and are working through this, but it has been tough. Looking deeply into myself and all around me, I just can’t imagine this is a “fully automatic Universe” as Alan Watts described the atheist view. Everything is too fucking amazing:). Wish I had time to explain more about myself and where I’m going but don’t at this time. Thank you for your blogs.